Let The Redeemed Of The Lord Say So

This clematis bloomed for a mom's aching heart on Sammy's “heavenversary.” 

It was September, and all the flowers had long since bloomed and died. Why did I look up and see this personal encouragement from God? I don't know, but I immediately understood, yet again, that God sees and understands my loss. 

It was the late ’90s and I was stationed near San Antonio, Texas, in the Air Force. I was on duty but needed to run to the post office off base during my lunch break. As I was driving, I noticed a young man, probably in his mid-20s, walking in the direction I was going. It was starting to rain, so I pulled over and offered him a ride, which he reluctantly accepted. 

I had a difficult childhood. Many of my early memories are painful to recall. As I grew older, living in a secular home with my father and in a worldly neighborhood and school, I was easily impressionable. I cared more about what others thought than anything else, desiring to be accepted. I also wanted to feel safe and secure in a dangerous, poor community.

I found this security temporarily around the age of 15 in party/drug culture and gang life. It was an empty distraction. I would later leave home at 16.

When I first became a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ it was abundantly clear to my family that I was different. I had changed. 

My daughter followed in her profession of faith not long after, but my son-in-law was a work in progress. He was stubborn and while he was okay with the rest of us believing, he wasn’t willing to embrace it for himself. So we prayed and prayed and prayed that his eyes would be opened to the truth. And guess what? After years of praying, God did reveal Himself. 

Over the years my husband and I loved having many dogs as pets. We were going through a very difficult time and our family dog had died several years earlier. I suggested to my husband that a dog would bring us lots of love, joy, and diversion from all his health needs and being homebound because of the paralysis.

He said, “Oh no, honey, you have too much to do taking care of me.” 

I said, “But dogs make us smile and they can be such good buddies.”

Since 1974, when I was saved at age 16, I had a strong desire to see my family members come to Christ. The joy I was experiencing after the misery of constantly “working to earn my salvation” as a devout Catholic was so wonderfully real that it was my ongoing desire and prayer to see my two siblings and parents know this peace. 

How does someone go from believing about Jesus’ redemption in one’s head to believing it in one’s heart?

I grew up in a Christian family and for my entire childhood heard about sin and God’s offer of salvation. I knew it so well and had heard so many testimonies of people getting “saved” that I thought I had it figured out. But I would ask Jesus to be my Savior repeatedly just in case I hadn’t “done it right.”