God's Grace In The Night
I was awakened in the night by the sound of jets, followed by thundering bombs. Ever since the war in Syria started, so close to our home in Antioch, Turkey, we often heard jets and bombs, but not as loud and rumbling as these. I leaped out of bed and tried to shake my exhausted and stressed mind so that I could make clear decisions. Jonathan was in Istanbul, and I was alone with my three children.
The bombs continued to fall, and I struggled to figure out how far away they might be. I grabbed the emergency backpack by our door that was filled with copies of passports, water bottles, food, changes of clothes, a blanket, and cash. Then I stood in our living room, debating what to do next. Do I call friends from church and see what they are doing? Do I turn on the news? Or is the danger so close that I need to wake the children and make for the hills behind our house?
Leading up to that night, my mind and emotions had been in turmoil. Every day I pushed my fear aside and got the kids their breakfast, washed dishes, did the laundry, took the boys to school, etc. Doing this was slowly wearing me down, making it very difficult to make rational decisions, such as what to do in the night when I hear bombs falling. Normally, Jonathan was the one who helped me think clearly. But he was not home.
I cried out in fear to God. I had been told many things such as: God will keep you safe, nothing can touch you when you are in His will and He will protect you. But I also knew that it could be in His will that my children and I die in this house, are taken by Islamic terrorists, or join the refugees we served as we ran for our lives. It wasn’t a matter of blind faith, of saying, “Everything will be okay. Don’t worry about it.” It was about crying to God that I was afraid and then telling Him I trusted Him because He is good, and He loves me.
I put the backpack down. I got back in bed. I listened to the sounds of war from the border. I slept.
– Ruth Sonoda
